Everyday continues to be a battle against myself and what I think I SHOULD be doing versus what I actually am doing, Whether it be something to with my fluctuating weight (my recent illnesses didn’t really help), or my slightly altered position at work, things never seem to line up quite right.
After almost two years of writing that blog about my father being ill with cancer, I am very pleased to say that he’s still alive. My older sister is having another child (finally) and I found someone here in Korea that is wonderful.
But last wednesday I got the worst news of my life when my sister woke me up to tell me my aunt (closest sister of my mom) was in hospital dying. That day I almost lost my mind and was doing such nonsensical things as I waited for news on her health. God gave me the strength to teach my students for the rest of the week and the weekend gave me time to rest my mind and just wait for news of my aunt. As of now she’s still holding on. However I’d really like to know why some of my family members have taken it upon themselves to make it all about them. I heard that has been pointless bickering and others threatening to physically hurt each other which is so ironic, because if you actually know my aunt, you would know that she was the one person who could actually bring people together. My sister sent me pictures of my aunt when she was in a coma and to see her there so lifeless when she was/is such a joyful and animated person really broke me.
So at this point, I’m just here in Korea, waiting for news.
As for my teaching, now that my school finally enforced the co-teaching rule (we were supposed to have them from the jump but the I have been teaching alone since 2013 with no co-teacher) it’s a bit difficult to adjust sometimes. I like to deviate from the book-okay I will admit that not all my ideas are good, and some things turned out to be a disaster and activities that worked well last year ended up completely flopping this year due to the fact that this is a new generation of 4th graders. But now all I am basically reduced to is being a dancing monkey. If there is a singing/dancing activity I will happily do it, but sometimes I think if the kids just see me dancing and singing all the time they wont take me seriously. The co-teacher I have is actually a great person, but our ages differ too much and my Korean is too poor to communicate eloquently with her. I am working on fixing that though (In fact I played an English-Korean game with her son today and he taught me a lot and he’s only 10!). I miss the days of when it was a challenge everyday, now things feel a bit stagnant, but this is the way my school wants it to be. Until next semester when they may go back to the original format because they used up all the English budget on something else (but that’s another story). I won’t even get to how shady they are especially regarding my coworker who is getting transferred against his will. Life eh.